Today, thirty-one year old Stef Stanley is self-assured, with an understanding of who she is and what she stands for. As an Account Director at LinkedIn, Stanley works with some of the biggest tech companies, helping them drive meaningful engagement, which she manages with poise. But she admits, the road to getting here wasn’t easy, “It took me a while to believe in myself enough, and now that I do, I am really committed and passionate about helping young women who might not be there yet.” 

This passion for paying it forward is what led Stef Stanley to Co-Found Ok Mentor, a free IRL crash-mentorship course for young women looking to enter creative industries, alongside Liz Stone. Maybe this storyline rings a bell - quite possibly because you already read my earlier interview with Stone a few months back and have been hoping for an opportunity to learn from the women behind Ok Mentor. Lucky for you, this opportunity is right around the corner, as this year’s program will be held as an online webinar free to women globally (more on this soon!).

Who were you at twenty?

At twenty I was just starting to experience the world. I had moved from Brazil to LA with my ex-husband (I got married at 19!) and honestly, had no idea about anything in the real world. I was quite innocent when it came to people; I didn’t really understand sarcasm and always assumed the best in everyone. I was working part-time in hospitality, part time at an unpaid internship in PR and part-time at university all at the same time. 

On attending three different universities & what ultimately drives success

I went to college in Brazil, LA and then NYC (Baruch College) studying Psychology but to be honest, I don’t think it made the slightest difference in my career. Every role I had was earned by working hard, networking and being super driven. I think college is a check box you sometimes have to have, but I believe the world is evolving towards a more inclusive place for non-graduates as well – as it should!

How have you evolved since?

I have built resilience, confidence, drive and a much larger understanding of myself, and humans in general. I have a family of therapists and 11 years of analysis non-stop can teach you a lot! I have since built a life, career and family I am super proud of, learned to celebrate myself more but also how to deal with the challenges and lows in a better way than I did when I was twenty. 

On co-founding Ok Mentor 

I think founding Ok Mentor was one of the best decisions of my life – and it almost felt like it was meant to be. Liz (my co-founder) and I had crossed paths so many times, but it wasn’t until I vulnerably shared (out loud) at a dinner that I needed some more purpose in my life, that she approached me with the idea of launching something together. Liz and I have had very different challenges in our twenties which is why I think the programme is so special. We teach young women all the different areas they might experience challenges with – from confidence to taxes. Our long-term mission is to positively impact the economy of female talent by making more women succeed faster. If I can help one person build their confidence up, that would mean the world to me.

On learning to manage a work/life balance

To be fully transparent, I don’t think I had a great work-life balance in my early twenties.  I was so eager to prove myself and got such satisfaction from doing so, that I was willing to work not-so-healthy hours. But I also enjoyed my personal life a lot! I would say the key secret to success with this is to learn to listen to your body. It will tell you if you are starting to get too tired, or too anxious, too lazy…it will tell you. Once I learned that, it made me make a lot better choices. If I had to work late, I wouldn’t go out that weekend. If I was able to do both,  then I would reserve 2 hours one evening during the week for a meditation and relaxing night in.

What advice would you give to yourself at twenty?

Believe in yourself more, believe you are special just the way you are, and that all your nuances and layers are what makes you so unique. Embrace who you are, those who matter will stick around. Work hard and the rest will follow.

What would you say to a twenty-something year-old girl about finding her place in the world?

It takes work, patience and the ability to pick yourself back up when things don’t go as expected. Your personality and ability to work hard will be what differentiates yourself from others, so make sure to always bring those two to life in everything you do. Also always prioritize your well-being & mental health so that you don’t get in a cycle of comparing yourself to others (social media is particularly bad for that). It doesn’t matter how great someone’s life might look, everyone has challenges and lows and moments they need to be strong for. Building up your own strength will get you much further in life.

Learn more about Stef Stanley and Ok Mentor here