It was Marika Frumes’ childhood experiences that instilled in her the value and importance of pursuing a life of compassion, understanding, and inclusivity, using her own success to uplift others.
Every Friday, Marika Frumes puts out to her Instagram followers - friends and strangers alike - the offering to fulfill their ‘Ask’ and no request is off limits. This was the means of my own connection to Frumes, who took two hours one Sunday afternoon to speak on the phone with me, sharing her experiences, while eager to learn about my own.
Community building is no gimmick in Marika Frumes’ world and her passion for building empowered communities carries over to her professional life too. Today, Frumes is the Director of Training, Development, and Community at The Standard Hotel group and her efforts to build a global community of connected women led to Co-Founding HER USA. Moreover, she sees the power of inclusivity, which led her to found US, a safe place for men and women to come together for conversation as equals and as human beings.
This is Marika Frumes’ journey to thirty-five. This is twenty:
Who were you at twenty?
At twenty I was a girl that thought she knew it all but really, I didn't even know myself. My family immigrated from the USSR when I was eight and our means were very limited and my English was non-existent. I was put into a school with a strong ESL (English as a Second Language) program and was extremely bullied for several years. It was a unique experience as I was outcast for being white in a mostly black environment. My inability to communicate, made me seem aloof and snobbish and along with my white skin made for an unwelcome combination. After several years of being absolutely terrorized, I got the chicken pox and was forced to lift my shirt to get iodine drops. That's when my mom discovered I had two broken ribs... from being hit so frequently.
From there I was quickly moved to a new school. By that point, I was so academically behind (school was the last thing on my mind when I was just trying to survive) and had so little confidence that I really struggled socially. I didn't have any friends, which was actually worse than being bullied.
Things eventually came together for me (thankfully), but I never reflected on my difficult past or what those formative years meant for me as a human. I largely ignored myself and that pain in my early twenties.
How have you evolved since?
I am much more compassionate, forgiving and open minded. I also realize that the work that I now do in building communities and helping people connect to themselves and each other, stems from filling a void from my 8 year old self. I was never included or welcomed as a young girl, my mission today is to create experiences and communities where everyone has a voice and is seen for who they are. It's so critical for me as it comes from a deeply personal place.
As we get older, we generally experience more pain and loss and while it’s hard in the moment, I’ve learned it’s the trials and tribulations which always help us to become better versions of ourselves.
What advice would you give to yourself at twenty?
Stay curious, ask lots of questions, hustle, stay open to new people and experiences, help people where you can, take risks, always be in integrity with your highest-self and remind yourself daily that you are amazing.
learn more about Marika here